This week wraps up my first quarter of being an adjunct instructor. The past eleven weeks have been an interesting experience to say the least.
Being the one wielding the dry erase pens and flipping through the slideshow is an entirely different experience than sitting slack-jawed and passive, eyes glazed and mind wandering; like I did for the first 25 years of my classroom experiences.
Seeing all these faces ready to soak up knowledge makes me think of myself when I was in college.The first day of classes I was always so on top of things, bright-eyed, ready to listen and learn, fresh pens and notecards at the ready.
Well, alright...maybe not the entire first day...maybe the first half of the day...no...
Okay. Honestly, my inner go-getter was ready to be a go-outsider or go-homer within about the first 15 minutes of each class. Maybe less.
As soon as that slideshow came into focus on the projector screen and the professor began to drone on and on in the way only a teacher can, I was ready to be out of there. Outside. Anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I avoided the freshman fifteen solely by fidgeting.
Graphic Design is my life, I should have been listening, I should have been hanging on every word.
But I wasn't, and I didn't.
I learned only for the tests and put in the minimal effort that I had to in order to get by. Monday at 8 am often found me struggling to complete a project that was due for my 9 am class; a project that we'd had four weeks to finish; a project that I hadn't even started.
So yeah, I get it.
I get that even when you're learning something that you find fascinating, or something that's essential for your career, the shear fact that you're required to be there makes you resist.
That, I understand.
What I never understood before is how amazingly frustrating and awful it can be to watch people who are so talented and so full of potential throw up walls for themselves. There's no way I could have understood what it's like to hear the same excuses over and over again and to know for a fact that they're fiction.
Students who should be flying through this material are never even beginning, or quitting halfway through, or not showing up at all...but don't you worry, they can tell you why:
-The weather was bad
-My significant other was sick
-I have kids
-I have pets
-I have that "throat thing"
-My car wouldn't start
-I work two jobs
-My roommate keep me awake
etcetera...
Go ahead, give me a reason, I can guarantee you I've heard it before, I've probably used it myself.
The delightful irony here is that I have to show up for every single scheduled class. Regardless of whether or not my car starts, if I twist my ankle, if someone dies, if I'm sick, if it's -6 degrees, if my other job made me tired or the schedule conflicted, I have to be there. It must be some kind of cosmic punishment for my decades as a world champion slacker.
Not only do I have to be there, but I'm acutely aware of who isn't there. I never expected to care, but I do.
It makes me feel amazing when people who were struggling begin to do better just because they refused to give up
It matters to me who is slipping though the cracks, it matters who is making a conscious decision to fail. Because that's exactly what it is: a choice. If someone had told me that when I was in school, I would have laughed in their face.
I would have said, "What the hell are you talking about?! Of course it's not my choice, it's not my fault, stuff just happens that keeps from getting things done."
But when I look back I see a very different picture. I see my instructors trying to push me in the right direction but never being able to get my full attention or effort applied to anything. I see countless hours of time I spent avoiding work when I could have spent one hour completing it.
I see now that my excuses were my way of saying "I'm not accountable for my own life."
This is not to say that I won't make excuses for things anymore, because I surely will. But now I will be a little more honest with myself about why I'm making them.
So what incredible new insight did I draw from my first 12 weeks?
Simply this:
I should keep teaching. I might learn something.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Just Barely
Yesterday I was running, like I am most of the time, and thinking about all the things I need to get done before the end of the week. There are papers to grade, a quiz to write, two lectures to prepare, housecleaning, grocery shopping, running all the miles to beat Erin and Liz, some get-togethers with friends, and a few freelance projects that are screaming to be completed.
All of these things swirling around in my head made me paralyzed, every cell in my brain screeched to a halt. I couldn't even begin to organize things into sections that seemed manageable, because there didn't seem to be enough time between events to complete each of the tasks in their entirety.
And that led me to wonder:
Why do I feel like I need to wait to start something until I have a huge chunk of time to complete the task...when I know for a fact that I never have a huge chunk of time?
Seems to me that I've created an elaborate system to avoid getting anything done, thereby keeping myself in constant agony over the things that aren't happening.
Things don't need to get done all the way, all at once. They can be completed in increments.
Such a novel concept, I know.
If you missed the first day of your exercise or diet program, you don't need to wait for a new week or a new month to try again.
- Your body doesn't know it's not Monday
If you don't have time to clean the entire bathroom/living room/kitchen whatever, that doesn't mean you can't do a small amount to keep things sanitary.
-Your bathroom doesn't care that you cleaned the floor by swishing a paper towel around with your foot instead of scrubbing on your hands and knees
Not preparing a six course meal for your family or friends is not a crime.
-Your kids don't see ordering a pizza for dinner as a parenting fail, they see it as awesome
There are some things that don't need to made top priority.
-Your neighbors aren't sneaking into your yard at night to measure the height of your grass with a ruler (and if they are you need a better fence or a bigger dog)
Just barely is better than not at all.
All of these things swirling around in my head made me paralyzed, every cell in my brain screeched to a halt. I couldn't even begin to organize things into sections that seemed manageable, because there didn't seem to be enough time between events to complete each of the tasks in their entirety.
And that led me to wonder:
Why do I feel like I need to wait to start something until I have a huge chunk of time to complete the task...when I know for a fact that I never have a huge chunk of time?
Seems to me that I've created an elaborate system to avoid getting anything done, thereby keeping myself in constant agony over the things that aren't happening.
Things don't need to get done all the way, all at once. They can be completed in increments.
Such a novel concept, I know.
If you missed the first day of your exercise or diet program, you don't need to wait for a new week or a new month to try again.
- Your body doesn't know it's not Monday
If you don't have time to clean the entire bathroom/living room/kitchen whatever, that doesn't mean you can't do a small amount to keep things sanitary.
-Your bathroom doesn't care that you cleaned the floor by swishing a paper towel around with your foot instead of scrubbing on your hands and knees
Not preparing a six course meal for your family or friends is not a crime.
-Your kids don't see ordering a pizza for dinner as a parenting fail, they see it as awesome
There are some things that don't need to made top priority.
-Your neighbors aren't sneaking into your yard at night to measure the height of your grass with a ruler (and if they are you need a better fence or a bigger dog)
Just barely is better than not at all.
Friday, December 31, 2010
The year two thousand eleven
It is almost 2011, which, according to the progressive rock band, Rush, means that we are only 101 years away from assuming control over the planets of the Solar Federation.
It is also the year of the run-on sentence, as evidenced by the previous lines.
At the end of January I christened 2010 "the year of new adventures," and I believe that it lived up to its name.
Here's a quick view of the major happenings from the year gone by:
2010 was a bit like running into traffic after anything that looked shiny.
This is an actual picture of me. I look good in black, don't you think?
2011 will be the year of goals and goal attainment. I will make a list of major things I'd like to accomplish over the next 12 months and work through them like a kind of list-checking-off professional of some sort. Yeah.
For the most part, these goals should be things that will be difficult for me, but I'm going to throw a few easy ones in there too just to keep my spirits up. There will be more to add, but this is my starting list:
Less than 24 hours are left til the commencement of my goal attainment efforts, better eat all the chocolate and smoke all the cigarettes that I can right now! :-D
It is also the year of the run-on sentence, as evidenced by the previous lines.
At the end of January I christened 2010 "the year of new adventures," and I believe that it lived up to its name.
Here's a quick view of the major happenings from the year gone by:
- Learned to rock climb
- Bought a car
- Took a trip to New York
- Completed my first Triathlon
- Quit my job
- Started the Bomber Betties Longboarding Club
- Longboarded 40 miles from Spokane to Cd'A
- Had my first solo art show
- Wrote a novel
- Began teaching at ITT
2010 was a bit like running into traffic after anything that looked shiny.
This is an actual picture of me. I look good in black, don't you think?
2011 will be the year of goals and goal attainment. I will make a list of major things I'd like to accomplish over the next 12 months and work through them like a kind of list-checking-off professional of some sort. Yeah.
For the most part, these goals should be things that will be difficult for me, but I'm going to throw a few easy ones in there too just to keep my spirits up. There will be more to add, but this is my starting list:
- Run another half marathon
- Take a cross country road trip
- Complete an Olympic distance triathlon (my first was a sprint distance)
- Pay off my car (early)
- Run the Spokane Marathon in October (the full marathon)
- Get published
- Read at least 10 books from the banned books list
- Dine out once a week or less (unless someone else is paying, haha)
- Make a will (I've been talking about this for years but have yet to do it)
I realize that setting lofty goals is a common activity for anyone celebrating New Years. But to be perfectly honest, I've never been one to make resolutions. I've never said, "this is the year I lose 20 pounds," or "this is the year I quit smoking," or eating chocolate, or slacking off, or whatever.
And that's not because I think resolutions are a waste of time, because I don't. Any effort you take to step back and look at what you're doing is not a waste. It's just that I don't normally wait for the calendar to roll over to decide that something needs to happen. I'm impatient like that.
This year is different. It just so happens that the traditional time of reflection has arrived at the station at the exact same time as my mental train. Things are in flux, whether that's for good or bad is beside the point. The point is that now is the time to take stock and move forward in the direction of my choosing.
Looking back and looking forward at the same time is what January is all about. "The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new." --goalsguy.com
And that's not because I think resolutions are a waste of time, because I don't. Any effort you take to step back and look at what you're doing is not a waste. It's just that I don't normally wait for the calendar to roll over to decide that something needs to happen. I'm impatient like that.
This year is different. It just so happens that the traditional time of reflection has arrived at the station at the exact same time as my mental train. Things are in flux, whether that's for good or bad is beside the point. The point is that now is the time to take stock and move forward in the direction of my choosing.
I know where I've been, and hopefully, through setting goals, I'll also have a general idea of where I'm headed.
Looking back and looking forward at the same time is what January is all about. "The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back. Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new." --goalsguy.com
Less than 24 hours are left til the commencement of my goal attainment efforts, better eat all the chocolate and smoke all the cigarettes that I can right now! :-D
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Enhance That
I was tagging photos after a recent birthday party and got a kick out of how hard Facebook's facial recognition feature tries to find people. It asked me to tag the beyond-distorted wine glass reflection of something that may or may not actually be a face. The best part is that there were two real people in this photo and Facebook only grabbed the one in the wine glass.
Who is that?! Great question, let's enhance.
I had to laugh because it reminded me of the mash-up video of television crime dramas where they "enhance" photos beyond the realm of possibility to get information that would never be there in real life.
Surprise: A low res screenshot from a surveillance video doesn't suddenly become high quality just because you zoomed in really tight. Also surprise: a 2-D image doesn't jump into the 3rd dimension just because Gil Grisom requests that we rotate on the z-axis.
For those who aren't familiar with how image resolution works, the idea that you can just zoom in to get more pixel information is the same as thinking you can make more dogs by squeezing yours really hard. It just doesn't work that way.
As one commenter says:
BS! When a computer or a security camera takes a picture it has by definition only a limited amount of pixels given to you and that is it. Computer enhancement it's very unsafe and vulnerable to commit a mistake because it means that information has been ADDED to the picture thereby altering the real and only information that existed. This would not stand in a court case because artificial information was added by the computer. - ThoughtGazeCarlos
For my students if they are reading this: Adding pixels to an image is called "interpollation." This is done in Photoshop by leaving the "Resample Image" box checked in the Image Size dialog box when you increase the dimensions of your image.
Here's the video. It makes me chuckle every time I watch:
On another note, I've leapt into the Photoshop War going on through Facebook. The only real rule of engagement for this war is that you must use at least one photo taken from your opponents' Facebook page in your composite image. After each person has submitted a challenge, Facebook friends vote for the winner.
I chose to challenge Devon for this round. Here are the images I started with, along with the final composite. I grafted Dev's face onto Jane Fonda, removed the background using the pen tool, used brushes to create the trees, and cut out the ball to float in a few random spots. The whole process took a little under an hour.
Three Starting Images
Composite Image
Who is that?! Great question, let's enhance.I had to laugh because it reminded me of the mash-up video of television crime dramas where they "enhance" photos beyond the realm of possibility to get information that would never be there in real life.
Surprise: A low res screenshot from a surveillance video doesn't suddenly become high quality just because you zoomed in really tight. Also surprise: a 2-D image doesn't jump into the 3rd dimension just because Gil Grisom requests that we rotate on the z-axis.
For those who aren't familiar with how image resolution works, the idea that you can just zoom in to get more pixel information is the same as thinking you can make more dogs by squeezing yours really hard. It just doesn't work that way.
As one commenter says:
BS! When a computer or a security camera takes a picture it has by definition only a limited amount of pixels given to you and that is it. Computer enhancement it's very unsafe and vulnerable to commit a mistake because it means that information has been ADDED to the picture thereby altering the real and only information that existed. This would not stand in a court case because artificial information was added by the computer. - ThoughtGazeCarlos
For my students if they are reading this: Adding pixels to an image is called "interpollation." This is done in Photoshop by leaving the "Resample Image" box checked in the Image Size dialog box when you increase the dimensions of your image.
Here's the video. It makes me chuckle every time I watch:
On another note, I've leapt into the Photoshop War going on through Facebook. The only real rule of engagement for this war is that you must use at least one photo taken from your opponents' Facebook page in your composite image. After each person has submitted a challenge, Facebook friends vote for the winner.
I chose to challenge Devon for this round. Here are the images I started with, along with the final composite. I grafted Dev's face onto Jane Fonda, removed the background using the pen tool, used brushes to create the trees, and cut out the ball to float in a few random spots. The whole process took a little under an hour.
Three Starting Images
Composite ImageI'm up for a friendly fight if anyone out there wants to challenge me.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
I'm a driver, I'm a winner. Things are gonna change, I can feel it.
There's something about delivering pizzas that makes me want to rip pens of out people's hands and run away screaming with them. You can never have too many pens.
Somewhere over the past few months, I've become someone who is prepared to ride out an accounting apocalypse /slash/ beauty emergency in my vehicle. I've got flashlights, chargers for electronics, paper, a calculator, five separate containers for change, an industrial-sized ice scraper, hair supplies, six kinds of lip gloss, MREs and a blowtorch (for realsies), and pens, did I mention pens? I have so many.
Does all of this preparedness and guerrilla style run-around, just-take-your-pizza-and-let-me-keep-the-GD-change stuff make me good at math? Why, no. But thanks for asking.
If you're starting to think that maybe I've lost my mind just a wee bit, let me assure you that I'm not even half as nutters as some of the people I get to visit.
Here's a few examples:
A couple weeks ago I pulled up to a place that had no house number, but it was in the logical spot for the address I needed, so I took a guess on it being right. This house was way out in the way outs ('way over yonder' for those in the south) with no other houses around. As I drove up the driveway my eyes caught on something hanging from a maple tree in the front yard: A severed mannequin head, screaming and dripping bright red blood from the mouth and neck, with a sign that said 'No Trespassing.'
Oh...ha? I laughed to myself, thinking...maybe Halloween?
Then I saw the other signs. Everywhere. 'Keep out or I'll shoot.' 'You are now in firing range.' 'Stay the fuck off my property.'
I sat in the driveway for a minute or two, thinking about my life and how much I like it. Wondering if I should abandon the car that's probably now on surveillance tape, run off into the woods with this pizza, pick the meat off and eat it myself to survive.
Finally, I got out of the car and started to walk up to the door, pizza in hand. The door burst open and a man stepped out onto the porch, stopping and staring me down like it was noon at the OK Corrall. "Can I help you?" he asked, eying me with suspicion.
"Um..." I took a step back, "did you order a pizza?"
And he comes hopping down the stairs, and goes, "Oh yeah! Hey, here's twenty bucks, you can keep the change, have a great day!"
Just like that.
Seriously, dude? What's not giving me away here? Is it the ridonkulous green hat? Is it the bag I'm holding that says 'pizza'?! Is it the fact that a tiny blond girl drove right up to your palace of insanity with no regard to the signs??? omg, the signs.
Good times.
I'd like you all to pool your money and buy me this for Christmas so I can be prepared.
Here's another one about delivering, this one might be amusing or might be creepy, I haven't decided:
On the first day of our epic snowstorm, I took a delivery to a house over on the west side of town. When the guy opened the door, standing right behind him in front of the fireplace was a little girl, not wearing a shirt, stuffing her face from a giant bag of pretzels. I kind of did a double-take and she waved at me, so I waved back, and she shouts out, "My name is Teagan and I like to dance!"
"Wow, that's great," I said, freezing to death while her dad or whatever wandered off and took 15 minutes to find change (real safe, right?). "What kind of dancing do you do?"
She looked at me like I was the one not wearing a shirt in a snowstorm and she said, "No, it's not time for dancing now."
Then she started waving at me again.
Twilight Zone.
My last story for today involves being indoors (which you might consider 'safe' if you never worked at the Tacoma Taco Bell like I did):
Dude walks into the store and comes up to the counter to order a pizza. He's a big guy, maybe 6' 4," 250 lbs, but he looks friendly enough. I start taking his order and suddenly he reaches over the counter and grabs my wrist.
"What are these?!" he demands, pointing at the black jelly bracelets I've been wearing all summer without drawing attention from anyone else.
"Er...they're bracelets...?" I respond with that almost sarcastic, upward inflected question statement voice that I perfected as a teenager.
He kinda tilts his head and gives me the forward-leaning vulture face, still holding my wrist, and he says, "How old are you?"
I'm a little weirded out (no...wait...a lot), so I ask him to repeat; and yes, that is what he asked me.
And I say, "26..."
...like you do
And he just let's go of my wrist and is like, "Oh, I thought you were 16 or 17."
Then he goes and sits down in the lobby. Like he's not the slightest bit psycho. Just a guy who wants a pizza.
The good news about this job is that I get lots of time to drive (which I love), and lots of time to listen to music (which I love love).
Here are my current top 5 favorite songs to listen to while driving (in no particular order):
Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
The Black Swan - Story of the Year
Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence
Far - Coheed and Cambria
LSD = Truth - Lords of Acid
Has working with public always been this weird? I have vague memories of my high school experiences working retail and fast food, but I don't remember it being 10 shades of bizarre every single day.
Does anyone else have some good stories about interacting with the world at large? Please share them with me. I'd like us all to have a customer service pity party.
Somewhere over the past few months, I've become someone who is prepared to ride out an accounting apocalypse /slash/ beauty emergency in my vehicle. I've got flashlights, chargers for electronics, paper, a calculator, five separate containers for change, an industrial-sized ice scraper, hair supplies, six kinds of lip gloss, MREs and a blowtorch (for realsies), and pens, did I mention pens? I have so many.
Does all of this preparedness and guerrilla style run-around, just-take-your-pizza-and-let-me-keep-the-GD-change stuff make me good at math? Why, no. But thanks for asking.
If you're starting to think that maybe I've lost my mind just a wee bit, let me assure you that I'm not even half as nutters as some of the people I get to visit.
Here's a few examples:
A couple weeks ago I pulled up to a place that had no house number, but it was in the logical spot for the address I needed, so I took a guess on it being right. This house was way out in the way outs ('way over yonder' for those in the south) with no other houses around. As I drove up the driveway my eyes caught on something hanging from a maple tree in the front yard: A severed mannequin head, screaming and dripping bright red blood from the mouth and neck, with a sign that said 'No Trespassing.'
Oh...ha? I laughed to myself, thinking...maybe Halloween?
Then I saw the other signs. Everywhere. 'Keep out or I'll shoot.' 'You are now in firing range.' 'Stay the fuck off my property.'
I sat in the driveway for a minute or two, thinking about my life and how much I like it. Wondering if I should abandon the car that's probably now on surveillance tape, run off into the woods with this pizza, pick the meat off and eat it myself to survive.
Finally, I got out of the car and started to walk up to the door, pizza in hand. The door burst open and a man stepped out onto the porch, stopping and staring me down like it was noon at the OK Corrall. "Can I help you?" he asked, eying me with suspicion.
"Um..." I took a step back, "did you order a pizza?"
And he comes hopping down the stairs, and goes, "Oh yeah! Hey, here's twenty bucks, you can keep the change, have a great day!"
Just like that.
Seriously, dude? What's not giving me away here? Is it the ridonkulous green hat? Is it the bag I'm holding that says 'pizza'?! Is it the fact that a tiny blond girl drove right up to your palace of insanity with no regard to the signs??? omg, the signs.
Good times.
I'd like you all to pool your money and buy me this for Christmas so I can be prepared.Here's another one about delivering, this one might be amusing or might be creepy, I haven't decided:
On the first day of our epic snowstorm, I took a delivery to a house over on the west side of town. When the guy opened the door, standing right behind him in front of the fireplace was a little girl, not wearing a shirt, stuffing her face from a giant bag of pretzels. I kind of did a double-take and she waved at me, so I waved back, and she shouts out, "My name is Teagan and I like to dance!"
"Wow, that's great," I said, freezing to death while her dad or whatever wandered off and took 15 minutes to find change (real safe, right?). "What kind of dancing do you do?"
She looked at me like I was the one not wearing a shirt in a snowstorm and she said, "No, it's not time for dancing now."
Then she started waving at me again.
Twilight Zone.
My last story for today involves being indoors (which you might consider 'safe' if you never worked at the Tacoma Taco Bell like I did):
Dude walks into the store and comes up to the counter to order a pizza. He's a big guy, maybe 6' 4," 250 lbs, but he looks friendly enough. I start taking his order and suddenly he reaches over the counter and grabs my wrist.
"What are these?!" he demands, pointing at the black jelly bracelets I've been wearing all summer without drawing attention from anyone else.
"Er...they're bracelets...?" I respond with that almost sarcastic, upward inflected question statement voice that I perfected as a teenager.
He kinda tilts his head and gives me the forward-leaning vulture face, still holding my wrist, and he says, "How old are you?"
I'm a little weirded out (no...wait...a lot), so I ask him to repeat; and yes, that is what he asked me.
And I say, "26..."
...like you do
And he just let's go of my wrist and is like, "Oh, I thought you were 16 or 17."
Then he goes and sits down in the lobby. Like he's not the slightest bit psycho. Just a guy who wants a pizza.
The good news about this job is that I get lots of time to drive (which I love), and lots of time to listen to music (which I love love).
Here are my current top 5 favorite songs to listen to while driving (in no particular order):
Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
The Black Swan - Story of the Year
Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence
Far - Coheed and Cambria
LSD = Truth - Lords of Acid
Has working with public always been this weird? I have vague memories of my high school experiences working retail and fast food, but I don't remember it being 10 shades of bizarre every single day.
Does anyone else have some good stories about interacting with the world at large? Please share them with me. I'd like us all to have a customer service pity party.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Do you NaNo?
For those who are unfamiliar, November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). This is a fun event currently (and annually) sweeping the internet. It is a challenge to write a 175-page novel (50,000 words) by midnight on November 30th. The idea is to just write until you reach the word-count goal, or until your fingers fall off, in hopes of finally being able to call yourself a novelist.
Many people out there have dreams of writing a novel and will probably never get around to it. I was well on track to becoming and staying one of those people when I heard about NaNoWriMo from my roommate. Sure, I've always had the best intentions when it comes to my writing. An idea for the great American novel will come to me in the night all glittering gold and full of promise. And I'll jump on that idea and write like crazy until I get bored...about 10 pages in. Then I'll shut off the computer and make myself a snack, maybe go to the gym, open the mail, and completely forget about the fantastic idea and all my prior enthusiasm.
That's where this challenge comes in. It completely does away with the idea that I need to be excited about what I'm writing in order to write. The rules are just that I plug away until I have 50,000 words. They don't even need to be intelligent words, I just need lots of them.
So I've accepted this challenge, and I'm making it public to keep myself on task.
Here's a synopsis and an excerpt from what I'm working on:
Many people out there have dreams of writing a novel and will probably never get around to it. I was well on track to becoming and staying one of those people when I heard about NaNoWriMo from my roommate. Sure, I've always had the best intentions when it comes to my writing. An idea for the great American novel will come to me in the night all glittering gold and full of promise. And I'll jump on that idea and write like crazy until I get bored...about 10 pages in. Then I'll shut off the computer and make myself a snack, maybe go to the gym, open the mail, and completely forget about the fantastic idea and all my prior enthusiasm.
That's where this challenge comes in. It completely does away with the idea that I need to be excited about what I'm writing in order to write. The rules are just that I plug away until I have 50,000 words. They don't even need to be intelligent words, I just need lots of them.
So I've accepted this challenge, and I'm making it public to keep myself on task.
Here's a synopsis and an excerpt from what I'm working on:
Synopsis:
Excerpt: A few years out of college and still working in a dead-end job, Sarah Moon (26), is aimless and bored. She has yet to figure out that her feelings of loss and abandonment stemming from the death of her father are holding her back. She has done nothing in her life but run away from people and relationships.
Told half from Sarah's perspective and half from that of her mother, Ann, this is the story of Sarah's cross-country journey following a rock band and finding herself. Through Sarah's writing about her travels and Ann's memories of Sarah's shortened childhood, the reader comes to understand how our feelings about life and death color every part of our lives.
His favorite thing was to scoop up Sarah and toss her into the air like a miniature acrobat. He'd tell her that one day the whole family would run off to the circus together. It was something she'd read in a book and always wanted to do. She didn't understand that when children run away to the circus they are running away from home, away from their families.
Sometimes I imagine them when I'm doing dishes, looking out the back window into the yard. Chuck, with his huge form blocking the autumn sunlight streaming under the chestnut tree, while he swings Sarah around, creating crazy shadows dancing across our kitchen walls.
At the end, this 6' 5" weightlifter who tipped the scales at 225 had shrank down to 160 pounds. He shook constantly and could barely lift a water glass to his lips. I could see in his eyes that he didn't want to live another day, but sadly, he did. It went on that way for the longest time. He fell away completely, he barely noticed when we came to see him.
It was as though he didn't just die, he broke into a million pieces. The hospital became my puzzle box, full of tiny fragments of my husband that would never fit together again. As he sank further into depression, I continued to try to reach for him, though it became clear toward the end that my gestures were meaningless. What do you say to someone who's physical life is everything when they are breathing their last in a plain white room? He told me once that the only thing that would make him happy again would be to pick up me and Sarah and walk right out of the room. Apart from that, there was nothing else.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Dare to Dream
It's day four of the napping experiment. Like a scene out of Sleeping Beauty's castle, three dogs, a cat, and a girl with long blond hair slumber in dormancy through the day while the loud, waking world spins on outside their walls. Of course, instead of roses or magical fire, my bed is surrounded by dog toys.
Demographic studies from the Pew Research center state that an average of 34% of the adult population in the United States will take a nap today. Oddly, napping is prevalent among the not very affluent (those making under 30k annually) and the wealthy (those making over 100k annually), but not so much among the middle class.
Check out this nifty chart from the Pew Research Center article by Paul Taylor (it's a little pixelated, so click the link if you'd like to read their entire article and see it larger):
The Wikipedia article notes that a "power nap" of anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes is most refreshing because the person wakes up before entering the normal sleep cycle. Waking without completing the sleep cycle can cause the napper to feel groggy and disoriented.
Need more proof? Here's an excerpt from an article on Geek.com about a University of California, Berkeley sleep study:
"The findings came from a study performed by the university in which 39 “healthy, young adults” were divided into two groups. Both groups were given a rigorous learning task at noon which utilized the hippocampus where they performed at comparable levels. The groups were tested again at 6pm, but one group was able to take a 90-minute siesta at 2pm. The group that took a nap showed improvement in their capacity to learn while the non-nap group showed a drop in their learning performance." - Brian Osborne
Judging by the encouraging feedback on my last post, there aren't many who dispute the benefits of rest.
We all know it's good, we just don't make time for it.
Just like...*gasp*...exercise!!! If you'll notice in the graphic above, there is an eerie closeness in the between the percentage of the population who nap (34%) and the percentage of people who exercise (37%).
Here are my napping and exercise stats for the week so far, specially designed to make you cry in shame:
So far it seems to be having a positive effect. When I wake up from a nap it's like I'm starting fresh and it seems easier to organize my thoughts and get going on a task. The feeling is like the cache in my brain has been cleared, and now I'm ready to take in and categorize new things. I almost feel like I've added extra days to the week.
I think napping is one of those things where you just need to make an honest assessment of whether or not your body needs it, and if it does, do it.
To help you on your way, I'm going to administer a large dose of sleeping kittens from The Daily Kitten:
There now, don't you feel better?
Demographic studies from the Pew Research center state that an average of 34% of the adult population in the United States will take a nap today. Oddly, napping is prevalent among the not very affluent (those making under 30k annually) and the wealthy (those making over 100k annually), but not so much among the middle class.
Check out this nifty chart from the Pew Research Center article by Paul Taylor (it's a little pixelated, so click the link if you'd like to read their entire article and see it larger):
The Wikipedia article notes that a "power nap" of anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes is most refreshing because the person wakes up before entering the normal sleep cycle. Waking without completing the sleep cycle can cause the napper to feel groggy and disoriented.
Need more proof? Here's an excerpt from an article on Geek.com about a University of California, Berkeley sleep study:
"The findings came from a study performed by the university in which 39 “healthy, young adults” were divided into two groups. Both groups were given a rigorous learning task at noon which utilized the hippocampus where they performed at comparable levels. The groups were tested again at 6pm, but one group was able to take a 90-minute siesta at 2pm. The group that took a nap showed improvement in their capacity to learn while the non-nap group showed a drop in their learning performance." - Brian Osborne
Judging by the encouraging feedback on my last post, there aren't many who dispute the benefits of rest.
We all know it's good, we just don't make time for it.
Just like...*gasp*...exercise!!! If you'll notice in the graphic above, there is an eerie closeness in the between the percentage of the population who nap (34%) and the percentage of people who exercise (37%).
Here are my napping and exercise stats for the week so far, specially designed to make you cry in shame:
- Monday: 1 hour nap / 3.5 mile run
- Tuesday: 30 minute nap / 7.5 mile run
- Wednesday: 1 hour nap / weights, 30 minutes stair climbing, 3 mile run
- Thursday (today): nap TBD / 3 mile run, 0.5 mile swim
So far it seems to be having a positive effect. When I wake up from a nap it's like I'm starting fresh and it seems easier to organize my thoughts and get going on a task. The feeling is like the cache in my brain has been cleared, and now I'm ready to take in and categorize new things. I almost feel like I've added extra days to the week.
I think napping is one of those things where you just need to make an honest assessment of whether or not your body needs it, and if it does, do it.
To help you on your way, I'm going to administer a large dose of sleeping kittens from The Daily Kitten:
There now, don't you feel better?Monday, November 1, 2010
You are Getting Sleepy
Over the years, I've seen a lot of evidence that taking a mid-day nap helps productivity and brain function. This is evidence that I categorically ignore because it's just not normal for folks in the busy-busy-run-run United States to take naps, even though many other countries see napping as a standard occurrence and not at all a sign of laziness.
I resist. I refuse.
I stomp around like a two-year-old yelling "I'm not tired!" up until the moment that I pass out from exhaustion.
Napping and I have a long history of not getting along.
My Mom never made me nap when I was little. In fact, she discouraged me from sleeping during the day because she wanted me to go to bed at 8 and sleep through the night so that she could sleep too.
When the other children had to go inside for nap-time, I would stay out and climb trees or run laps around our house (seriously). Such was my energy level at the age of 5.
I was the only child in my kindergarten class who refused to nap.
While the other students lay their towels out on the floor and took a snooze, I would sit bolt upright with my kitty cat beach towel around my shoulders like a cape of resolve.
That's right Ms. Browne, naps are stupid, and I don't need one.
As I write this, my standard mid-afternoon tension headache is just beginning to settle along my temples and at the back of my neck. It's something that I normally ignore, or quick-fix by chugging a cup of coffee, then get on with my day.
Today is different.
It's sleepy-time, Spokane.
Every day this week, I am going to take a nap, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I know at least two people, one of whom being the incomparable Liz Blodgett, who nap regularly and are scary productive in spite of (or because of?) the time off to rest.
Special thanks to Erin for pointing out the napping conundrum to me yesterday. We all know it's good for you, but no one wants to say "I need a nap" even knowing that they'll regain that 20 minutes and more upon waking.
I will post some links and quotes about the benefits of napping later in the week, but right now, I'm off to bed.
I resist. I refuse.
I stomp around like a two-year-old yelling "I'm not tired!" up until the moment that I pass out from exhaustion.
Napping and I have a long history of not getting along.
My Mom never made me nap when I was little. In fact, she discouraged me from sleeping during the day because she wanted me to go to bed at 8 and sleep through the night so that she could sleep too.
When the other children had to go inside for nap-time, I would stay out and climb trees or run laps around our house (seriously). Such was my energy level at the age of 5.
I was the only child in my kindergarten class who refused to nap.
While the other students lay their towels out on the floor and took a snooze, I would sit bolt upright with my kitty cat beach towel around my shoulders like a cape of resolve.
That's right Ms. Browne, naps are stupid, and I don't need one.
As I write this, my standard mid-afternoon tension headache is just beginning to settle along my temples and at the back of my neck. It's something that I normally ignore, or quick-fix by chugging a cup of coffee, then get on with my day.
Today is different.
It's sleepy-time, Spokane.
Every day this week, I am going to take a nap, and I'm not going to apologize for it. I know at least two people, one of whom being the incomparable Liz Blodgett, who nap regularly and are scary productive in spite of (or because of?) the time off to rest.
Special thanks to Erin for pointing out the napping conundrum to me yesterday. We all know it's good for you, but no one wants to say "I need a nap" even knowing that they'll regain that 20 minutes and more upon waking.
I will post some links and quotes about the benefits of napping later in the week, but right now, I'm off to bed.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
New Paint on Old Surfaces
As you may or may not know, my family lives in a house that was built over 100 years ago. In 1905, someone stopped in what was probably an empty field with no buildings within throwing distance and said, "Yep, this is the spot."
A lot has changed in 100 years. Families have come and gone from this house. These walls have seen workers rights movements, woman's rights movements, and civil rights movements. There is new paint, new furniture, and new faces.
A lot has changed.
What hasn't changed is the basic structure. It's still wood and stone, built on a solid foundation.
When I think about social progress, this is how I see it, we are solid. An end to racial and gender inequality has not brought our society crashing down around our ears. We can move forward and change without losing our values, our basic structure.
Today I attended a counter protest outside the Gonzaga University campus. Seeing the messages of hatred on the signs of the Westboro Baptist Church protesters made me think about the times I've been wrong about people I didn't know.
How many times have I looked at a stranger and made judgments about their lifestyle or their character? How many times have I been wrong?
I may never know the answer to that question, because I won't have the chance to ask. I can't go back and find out the truth. What I can do is change my point of view.
It's so easy to hate. It's so easy to push someone aside and say they're worthless, evil, or wrong. What's not easy is to really get to know them, then say those things.
I don't know anyone from the Westboro Baptist Church, and they don't know me, it would be easy for me to say that they are evil people, but I won't. I will say that I think they are misguided, and I hope that one day each of them will come to know a gay person or a soldier, or maybe even someone who is both, and realize that they are not so different from any other American.
One of the many messages of the WBC.
Also popular: "Thank God for IEDs" and "God Hates Fags"
Most of the time I'm a little too serious about human rights...if you believe that's possible. I was reminded by a friend today that it doesn't all need to be furrowed brows and clenched fists.
Here's a short video I put together of Jason dancing in a gorilla suit at the WBC counter protest, I hope it brightens your day:
I think I started this post talking about how the house has changed before I was sidetracked by the big picture. Funny how that happens.
Our bathroom has undergone a minor transformation that makes a big difference. I've painted out the yellow in favor of a bright white that makes the room look a little bigger and enhances the natural light.
Here are a few shots of the old color:
Old, light yellow bathroom color
Mellow Yellow
And here's the update to a cleaner look:
Shiny "new" bathroom
So there you have it. Everything old is new again.
Time marches on, the world changes, and we change with it, but our structure remains.
A lot has changed in 100 years. Families have come and gone from this house. These walls have seen workers rights movements, woman's rights movements, and civil rights movements. There is new paint, new furniture, and new faces.
A lot has changed.
What hasn't changed is the basic structure. It's still wood and stone, built on a solid foundation.
When I think about social progress, this is how I see it, we are solid. An end to racial and gender inequality has not brought our society crashing down around our ears. We can move forward and change without losing our values, our basic structure.
Today I attended a counter protest outside the Gonzaga University campus. Seeing the messages of hatred on the signs of the Westboro Baptist Church protesters made me think about the times I've been wrong about people I didn't know.
How many times have I looked at a stranger and made judgments about their lifestyle or their character? How many times have I been wrong?
I may never know the answer to that question, because I won't have the chance to ask. I can't go back and find out the truth. What I can do is change my point of view.
It's so easy to hate. It's so easy to push someone aside and say they're worthless, evil, or wrong. What's not easy is to really get to know them, then say those things.
I don't know anyone from the Westboro Baptist Church, and they don't know me, it would be easy for me to say that they are evil people, but I won't. I will say that I think they are misguided, and I hope that one day each of them will come to know a gay person or a soldier, or maybe even someone who is both, and realize that they are not so different from any other American.
One of the many messages of the WBC.Also popular: "Thank God for IEDs" and "God Hates Fags"
Most of the time I'm a little too serious about human rights...if you believe that's possible. I was reminded by a friend today that it doesn't all need to be furrowed brows and clenched fists.
Here's a short video I put together of Jason dancing in a gorilla suit at the WBC counter protest, I hope it brightens your day:
I think I started this post talking about how the house has changed before I was sidetracked by the big picture. Funny how that happens.
Our bathroom has undergone a minor transformation that makes a big difference. I've painted out the yellow in favor of a bright white that makes the room look a little bigger and enhances the natural light.
Here are a few shots of the old color:
Old, light yellow bathroom color
Mellow YellowAnd here's the update to a cleaner look:
Shiny "new" bathroom
So there you have it. Everything old is new again.
Time marches on, the world changes, and we change with it, but our structure remains.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Need costume ideas? May I suggest "networking vampire"?
Being funemployed has got me thinking a lot about meeting new people, not just meeting people for friendship, although that's nice, but "networking" as those crazy kids are calling it these days.
Networking has never been my thing, not least of all because I'm almost entirely face-blind. I have no trouble remembering names or details about the people I meet, I can just never figure out if this brown haired guy at the bus stop is the same brown haired guy from the gym about whom I know those things.
At the point in the conversation where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, right! Because you're a cliff diving concert pianist, it makes perfect sense," instead I say, "mmmm," and nod because I'm not really sure if that was you.
I'm the type of person who could name your grandmother's childhood goldfish, but probably couldn't find you in an elevator.
Actually, it would be very helpful for me if everyone I know or semi-know would wear a bright red top hat with their name on it. That way, when I saw you coming toward me on the street, I would instantly know that I'm supposed to recognize you, and your name would help me remember why. Maybe you could make me some flash cards to jog my memory. That would be helpful.
Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the end to my networking problems. You see, the main problem I have with networking is the idea that introducing yourself to someone makes them obligated to help you.
For example, I could walk up to you at a restaurant and say, "Hi, I'm so-and-so," and tell you a bit about myself and ask about you...and now I know you, and now I can tell other people I know you, and I can call on you when I need something.
Is that what you wanted? It doesn't matter.
Your new contact is like a vampire. You've said they can come into your house and now it's all over. By merely reaching out and giving a firm handshake, you've agreed to make special allowances for your new friend. Pretty soon you'll be flapping your tiny little bat wings beneath the full moon when you'd much rather be home on your couch watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
Even if you already know the person, it still sucks (ha! vampire joke) when they ask you to help them if you weren't planning to already.
I'm curious about the point where a friend starts to become a nuisance, or an acquaintance oversteps their bounds with their requests for a boost.
Has anyone out there ever been in a situation where someone asked too much of you and used your friendship as an excuse to suck you dry?
How about the other way around? Have you ever befriended someone for the purpose of getting ahead?
Networking has never been my thing, not least of all because I'm almost entirely face-blind. I have no trouble remembering names or details about the people I meet, I can just never figure out if this brown haired guy at the bus stop is the same brown haired guy from the gym about whom I know those things.
At the point in the conversation where I'm supposed to say, "Oh, right! Because you're a cliff diving concert pianist, it makes perfect sense," instead I say, "mmmm," and nod because I'm not really sure if that was you.
I'm the type of person who could name your grandmother's childhood goldfish, but probably couldn't find you in an elevator.
Actually, it would be very helpful for me if everyone I know or semi-know would wear a bright red top hat with their name on it. That way, when I saw you coming toward me on the street, I would instantly know that I'm supposed to recognize you, and your name would help me remember why. Maybe you could make me some flash cards to jog my memory. That would be helpful.
Unfortunately, that wouldn't be the end to my networking problems. You see, the main problem I have with networking is the idea that introducing yourself to someone makes them obligated to help you.
For example, I could walk up to you at a restaurant and say, "Hi, I'm so-and-so," and tell you a bit about myself and ask about you...and now I know you, and now I can tell other people I know you, and I can call on you when I need something.
Is that what you wanted? It doesn't matter.
Your new contact is like a vampire. You've said they can come into your house and now it's all over. By merely reaching out and giving a firm handshake, you've agreed to make special allowances for your new friend. Pretty soon you'll be flapping your tiny little bat wings beneath the full moon when you'd much rather be home on your couch watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."
Even if you already know the person, it still sucks (ha! vampire joke) when they ask you to help them if you weren't planning to already.
I'm curious about the point where a friend starts to become a nuisance, or an acquaintance oversteps their bounds with their requests for a boost.
Has anyone out there ever been in a situation where someone asked too much of you and used your friendship as an excuse to suck you dry?
How about the other way around? Have you ever befriended someone for the purpose of getting ahead?
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